why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I need a hoe opinion
go on
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
