I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
