We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
