i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
