You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
