hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
