I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
