I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
