You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
tell me about the fingering
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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