Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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