I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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