thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
