Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
