You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
