All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
