you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
