i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
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