shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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