the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
