Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
