I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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