Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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