I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
