We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
