Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
