3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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