I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The uberlube is also flammable
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
