She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
