never play flip cup with pint glasses
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
