when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
