WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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