I looked at my own cervix.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
