just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
