Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
