what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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