moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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