You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Even my vagina gasped.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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