on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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