I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
