you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
