i think i have herpe
just one?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I want her autograph on my taint
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
