I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
