I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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