I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
