My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
