oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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