some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
