According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
