The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
