you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
