I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
