There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
