She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
