absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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