Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
