Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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